quand même

claire doesn't suck

I have had intentions of writing something short on here so many times. But you know, life gets in the way. And truthfully, what I would want to write each time would be a snippet about Claire--and when faced with the choice between writing about her and hanging out with her, the latter will always be the clear winner.

But again, I'm awake for that time between feeding her and pumping, so I have two hours. Well, now I have an hour and a half because I paid a few bills.

Claire is one month old. The first two weeks took about one year to pass, but the second two weeks happened in about a day and a half...if that makes any sense whatsoever.

In some ways, it has been a tough month. I have hesitated to write about our very biggest challenge because it's probably only of interest to a very few people...and I've probably already talked to those people about it...but I'll go ahead and write anyway, just because I have time.

Stop reading, squeemish people.

We have really had a hard time feeding Claire.

Before she was born, I tried to enroll in the breastfeeding class at the local hospital, but since we moved here so late in my pregnancy, the classes were booked solid through the end of November. Needless to say, with a baby due on October 14, you can't wait until the end of November to figure out how to feed her! So instead, I read a pile of books on breastfeeding. Probably a good compromise...heck, maybe I learned more by just reading--who knows?

Anyway, before you have a child (and probably even right after for some moms), breastfeeding seems like the easiest, most natural thing in the world. The reality is that as natural as breastfeeding is, it just doesn't come naturally to a lot of moms. I suppose that is part of the reason that so many people formula-feed. I have my head set on breastfeeding for as long as possible, and at least for a year...so whether or not it came naturally to me, I intended to do it.

What I didn't realize was that breastfeeding doesn't actually come naturally to a fair number of babies either!

Reading even just the cover of most any breastfeeding book, you'll learn that breastfeeding should not hurt if a baby is latched on properly. So imagine my surprise when 15 minutes after birth, my child latches on perfectly and I discover that breastfeeding is not the relaxing beautiful experience that I had anticipated! Frankly, it hurt.

I asked every nurse that came in, "Is this child latched on properly? This is painful, and as best I understand it, this shouldn't hurt if she's latched on properly..." Everyone who looked at her latch assured me that "yes, she's latched on quite well"...and "it's probably just uncomfortable because you're still getting used to it"...etc.

But let me tell you, it was painful. And I have a high tolerance for pain.

To make an already long story a little less long, Claire is a biter. She didn't really have much of a suck-reflex at all, and so what basically happens is that she gets latched on nicely and then proceeds to clamp down her jaws in a very rhythmic manner.

Ouch.

Not to mention that breastfeeding is a supply-demand sort of thing...so if she doesn't suck well, my body thinks I'm not breastfeeding...and therefore makes less and less milk.

And of course, she doesn't realize that she's doing it wrong. She just stares up at me so innocently the whole time...so my heart melts 8-12 times a day.

Fortunately, the hospital where I gave birth has fabulous lactation support services--totally free to the public. They have an office where you can call them, a pager where you can page them, and a "support group" twice a week, where you can go early or stay late if you need individual help. We are so lucky, and they've helped us so much.

Claire has come a long way in the past four weeks, but she's still not the world's greatest sucker. I still have to do a fair amount of pumping to keep my milk supply up and some bottle-feeding (of that pumped milk) to keep her nourished.

But I'm optimistic that within the next few weeks, she'll go pro. Then I could write an entry titled, "claire sucks"...

As if.

Posted by amy at November 23, 2005 04:35 AM